You didn’t do the work wrong — there’s just a next layer to meet You’ve read books. Maybe you’ve done several rounds of therapy. You’ve gone to workshops and retreats. Your journals are filled with insights. You understand your patterns intellectually. You can name them, trace them back to childhood, and explain them to a friend over coffee. And yet. Your partner, colleague, or family member makes an offhand remark, and before you know it, you’re defensive. Or withdrawn. Or y